i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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