are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
