This is not my ceiling
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
