And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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