So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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