U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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