What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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