White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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