If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
