Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
