you turned your livingroom into a bong?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
