Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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