theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
