with your own penis?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
