I cockslap morals
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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