I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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