using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
