I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
