5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
this boner is exhausting
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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