WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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