I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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