What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
