Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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