We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
