I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
