Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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