my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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