Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I am naked and annoyed.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
