Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
