So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
