I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I still have a little drunk in my system
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
