walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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