Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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