She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
