I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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