how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
