eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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