Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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