OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
