i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
