Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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