she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
