Well douche your snatch and let's go!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
This house was built for laser tag.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
