There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
