Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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