yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
