is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
