Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
