HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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