so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
