just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
