I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
