well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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